My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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