If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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