I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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