what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
