If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration