just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
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Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.