Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.