They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.