i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.