Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Dating After Heartbreak
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.