the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
