What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
