Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
