she was so not down for the gang bang
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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