Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So vagazzling was a success
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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