If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
