Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My ATM looks so different sober.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
