I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize