if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
