She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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