Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
