That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my being single is dangerous.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
