look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
