dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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