Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
