There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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