Taylor Swift is so right about you.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
