What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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