Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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