Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is Oprah even human
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
