we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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