Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
