I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
