Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Two words: blizzard sex
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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