I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
ok first of all what the fuck
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
