haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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