think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
