i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
