Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to make out with him forever
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
