oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
