WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
