My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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