When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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