Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My liver just had a heart attack.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
