i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
