He had one of those small greek statue penises
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
