I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
