bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize