so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
