Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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