I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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