WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
