i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
