I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
