a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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