I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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