so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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