..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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