Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
