Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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