This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
