Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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