At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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