They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sext me about skeletons
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
